Hey everyone! Since everyone was asking when I was writing a new fanfic, and here it is! If you didn't read my old fanfic, Cries of Broken Hearts, this is a continuation of that. Lemme give you a summary: Squirrelflight died when a badger attacked her, Brambleclaw is heart-broken, Jayfeather's upset that he couldn't save her, Breezepelt attacked Jayfeather at the gathering and got attacked by Brambleclaw later, LionXIce is born, and Brambleclaw, Graystripe, and Snowbird (SC), died in an ambush (TC vs. SC). And no, did I say there was going to be forbidden love? It only says true feelings.
Lost Souls of Hidden Eyes: Part One
She couldn't deny it. She was in love. But he would never love her back, it was forbidden for him. She had loved him ever since he was there to help her, play with her, when she had a condition with her leg. When she asked him what it was like to be blind, he answered truthfully and said he didn't mind her asking, only people who pitied him, she felt something inside of her. Love. Cinderheart sighed. She knew that her love for Jayfeather could never be, because he was a medicine cat, and he was not allowed to love and mate with another.
Her heart cried for love, and she could find none. At first when she was an apprentice, she really liked Lionblaze. He was strong, independent, and out-going. But that all changed one day when she broke her leg, and got stuck in the medicine cats den. She saw something that was better. Jayfeather. She didn't care that he was blind, she was stronger and braver than anyone she had ever seen. He was always so proud even though cats whispered about his blindness everytime.
She loved him even more, the day he brought Poppyfrost back to camp, unharmed. But he was bleeding from a deep scratch, and Cinderheart felt the pain as if it were her own. She somehow knew all the herbs to use, but Jayfeather still had an ugly scar on him. Cinderheart wondered where he had got that wound from until the night of the gathering where Breezepelt attacked him. She knew that Breezepelt had done this to him, and promised herself out of anger that she will get revenge for him. But then Breezepelt insulted Squirrelflight, and Brambleclaw almost fatally wounded him until Jayfeather stopped him. But why? Even Jayfeather wasn't so sure himself. I think he's got a softer heart than he realizes. Cinderheart thought
The recent moon had been disappointing for her to watch Jayfeather mope around camp without his usual firey temper, and his attutude. No matter how much Cinderheart persuaded and pleaded to him that Squirrelflight's death wasn't his fault, he was still upset. It hurt her so much just to look at him during that time.
"How would Breezepelt's death be your problem?" Lionblaze's voice rang towards Cinderheart's ears. He sounded annoyed.
"Because if I wasn't born, he wouldn't be like this!" Jayfeather answered back. "Squirrelflight died because i wasn't there on time!"
Cinderheart walked towards the medicine cat den and purred: "No. Not because of this. Sometimes it's just meant to be this way."
Cinderheart caressed his cheeck with her tail. What am I doing? Jayfeather glared back with fury, and Cinderheart wondered if he was truly blind."Not every cat is saved. You just have to try again." She soothed again.
Jayfeather still looked crestfallen, but whispered: "Please go. I need time on my own." Cinderheart understood that he needed time to think it over, but Lionblaze hadn't.
Lionblaze opened his mouth, but Cinderheart silenced him with a brush of her tail, she felt sympathy from the deepest depths of her heart for Jayfeather. Lionblaze understood and murmured: "Let's go"
Lionblaze looked at her, and Cinderheart turned his gaze to him. "Do you wanna take Ivypaw battle training with Dovepaw?" He asked.
"Sure," She replied. "See you at the training hollow." Cinderheart was walking towards Ivypaw, who was awake and sniffing the fresh-kill pile. She chose a small vole and started eating.
"How's the vole?" Cinderheart purred.
"Good!" Ivypaw replied, her mouth full. Cinderheart laughed, and Ivypaw ducked her head to the ground, but her own eyes sparkled with amusement.
"Today we're doing battle training with Dovepaw once you finished your..." Cinderheart trailed off as Ivypaw gulped down her vole and ran towards the camp entrance.
"Yes! Finally!" She cried jubilantly as she ran towards the forest.
Cinderheart laughed again and ran to catch up to her.
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Cinderheart could see a glint of admiration in Icecloud's eyes for Lionblaze, and adoration for Icecloud from Lionblaze. They're in love! Cinderheart realized with a laugh inside her head. She just couldn't keep the laughter out of her eyes as she looked at Lionblaze. He ducked his head down in embarressment and stole a glance at Icecloud who was looking at him with love.
"Hey Icecloud!" Cinderheart decided to save Lionblaze from a bit of embarressment.
"Hey Cinderheart!" Icecloud said. Then her voice dropped down to a whisper. "Do you think Lionblaze likes me?"
"Likes?" Cinderheart whispered with laughter."He's besotted with you!" They both giggled.
"Anyone you like?" Icecloud asked in a hushed tone.
"No." Cinderheart sighed. If she was being true to herself, she loved Jayfeather. He was all that she ever wanted. Brave, proud, and kind...
"Are you sure?" Icecloud questioned with amusement. "You seemed like you were in love."
"No! I'm sure!" Cinderheart replied with horror
"Well, I think my brother's trying to get your attention everytime." Icecloud whispered again. "I think he likes you."
"Are you sure?" Cinderheart asked. Icecloud shrugged, and they were back at camp.
***********************************
Almost in the evening, Cinderheart found Jayfeather sorting his herbs. She wanted to go and talk to him. She walked up to his den, and his eyes shone with anger, but politely said: "Hello Cinderheart."
"Drop the polite act." Cinderheart sighed. "Your eyes give your feelings away."
"What do you want, Cinderheart?" Jayfeather sighed with irritation. He seemed a bit short tempered.
"I wanted to know if you were okay--" Cinderheart awkwardly began.
"I don't need your pity!" Jayfeather snapped. Cinderheart felt better when he said that, as if he had more of his spirit back.
"That's more like the old you." She purred.
"There's only one me!" Jayfeather snapped again.
"Oh come on Jayfeather!" Cinderheart sang in a light-hearted tone. "Everyone could see you mope around camp like a slug! I was wondering how your temper got better!" She felt better again.
"Um...Jayfeather?" Dovepaw's voice floated from the entrance. Jayfeather turned to face her.
"Yes, Dovepaw?" Jayfearther replied.
"Lionblaze sent me and Ivypaw to check the elders' pelts for ticks. I need some mouse bile." Dovepaw explained
"Sure, it's in that crack." Jayfeather pointed with his tail.
"Okay," Dovepaw simply said. When she got the bile, she walked away. Nobody's going to thank him for giving them mouse bile! Cinderheart thought with amusement.
"Hey Lionblaze!" Icecloud shouted
"Hello!" Lionblaze purred back. Cinderheart looked at Jayfeather, there was a slight knowing to his face, amusement, and a look that said I knew it!
"Ha! I knew it! I knew they liked eachother!" Cinderheart laughed. "You don't seem so surprised Jayfeather."
Instead of a snappy reply, he laughed. "How can I be surprised when they liked each other in the nursery!"
They both laughed. Cinderheart thought that his laugh was the best thing that she had heard, and wanted to hear it again and again...
"Are you satisfied Cinderheart?" Jayfeather asked in a light-hearted tone.
But Cinderheart's mind was on his laugh, and she said: "hmm??.." Then she snapped back to reality."Oh, yes! I am! It's great to see you have a little bit of life back." Cinderheart teased.
Jayfeather snorted, and Cinderheart scuffled her feet, and opened her mouth and she was going to tell him that she loved him...but snapped her mouth back shut.
"Cinderheart," Jayfeather yawned. "I need a bit of rest, can you go?"
"Sure," Cinderheart replied. She caressed his cheeck with her own, wanting his touch. "bye!" she called.
Cinderheart was just washing herself as Dovepaw ran into Jayfeather's den looking anxious. Cinderheart thought she was sick or something, but then Jayfeather looked shocked and then said something, Dovepaw ran out. Jayfeather grabbed his herbs and ran to the center of camp.
"Everyone! Come here!" Jayfeather cried
The clan muttered, but came to the clearing. "I had a dream." Jayfeather raised his voice, and got the attention of the clan. "That Firestar's patrol right now is being attacked by ShadowClan warriors." The clan went in shock, but he didn't give them a chance to whisper or talk. "I need warriors to go to ShadowClan border to fight." Cinderheart's heart pounded fast inside her chest. "I'll lead a patrol." Sandstorm volunteered.
"So will I." Brackenfur chimed in. And with that, the two cats went to gather more for their patrol. The cats were: Dustpelt, Bumblepaw, Millie, Cloudtail, Rosepetal, Toadstep, Icecloud, Ivypaw, Brightheart and Spiderleg. "The rest of you gaurd camp!" Sandstorm called.
"Let's go!" Jayfeather cried.
"I'm coming too!" Dovepaw shouted, and they gave nods.
Cinderheart ried to get in front and join the patrol, but Sandstorm shouted: "The rest of you gaurd camp!"
Oh StarClan! Bring them back safe!
The Admins moved it to misc, so I'm bringing it back!
Jayfeather and Lionblaze were hauling Brambleclaw's body back to camp, and met up with the patrol. They laid his body down on the snow. Icecloud gave them a friendly yowl, but died out as she saw Brambleclaw. "Is he...Is he...?" Icecloud was gulping air, and was shocked.
"Yes he is dead." Jayfeather murmured mournfully.
"Good you're back--" Firestar broke off Jayfeather felt his horror spike. "StarClan no!"
Similar reactions were felt through the patrol, and Jayfeather bowed his head down for the deputy, and his the one who raised him and treated him like he was his son. "We need to get back to camp." Firestar shouted for the patrol to hear him. "The clan will be wondering where we are."
"Wait!" Jayfeather yelled. "I need to check for wounds!"
"Go ahead Jayfeather." Firestar allowed. Then Jayfeather walked towards the patrol, but had a bit of a limp when he was thrown hard into the tree. He sniffed it, but it was fine, a tiny sprain. He scented blood mostly on Bumblepaw, but wasn't sure if it was his own or Graystripe's.
"Are you all right? I can't tell if this is your own blood or not." Jayfeather stated
"No, it's not my blood." Bumblepaw muttered. No question on whose it was. Jayfeather nodded.
"I think Toadstep's got a rather big scratch on his flank." Lionblaze muttered into his ear.
"Thanks," Jayfeather whispered back. When he saw fit of everyone, they all began to walk back to camp. Jayfeather felt sick feeling the misery rolling off of everyone, and the anger. His mind was frozen on moment he was with Brambleclaw when he died. He shuddered at it...Brambleclaw's blood...Tigerstar's laugh...He shook his head to get the images out of his head.
"I know the patrol's okay, but are you okay Jayfeather?" Firestar fretted.
"Yes, I'm fine." Jayfeather sighed, but still kept his head down.
"Are you sure?" Firestar asked, not convinced.
"Yes." Jayfeather nearly snarled, but said it as politely as he could.
"All right." Firestar gave up and didn't press him anymore.
"I wonder who the new deputy will be." Jayfeather heard Rosepetal whisper. "I hope someone expierienced."
"I hope it's Lionblaze!" Icecloud sighed dreamily. Jayfeather snuck into her head, and saw an emotion that he did not recognize. He just shrugged.
"Oh yes!" Rosepetal whispered back in the same tone.
"Hey Lionblaze," Jayfeather whispered to him. "I think Rosepetal and Icecloud wants you to become deputy."
Jayfeather felt his brother's surprise as he mewed: "Really?"
Jayfeather snorted with amusement. They were approaching camp entrance. As he walked through the bramble barrier, Cinderheart was the first cat he scented. Great StarClan! Why is she always there? "You're back!" She said happily, but Jayfeather felt the happiness drain out of her as she saw Brambleclaw's and Graystripe's body. "I'll go get Briarpaw and Blossompaw." Cinderheart whispered.
Jayfeather heard a wail of grief that came from the apprentice's den. Jayfeather scented the clan coming out of their dens, disturbed by the wail or the scent of blood.
"Now what's goin' on--?" Purdy trailed off like the others when he saw the bodies.
Jayfeather felt like his sprained leg was on fire, since the trek from ShadowClan border to his camp didn't do him very well. His knees nearly gave in, but he would not let himself be weak. He checked his leg again, but the swelling wasn't too bad, it would heal in a few days. It seemed like the whole clan was gathered around, and Jayfeather again felt nauseated by the thoughts and feelings of the clan, and his knees finally gave in. His head spun, and everything went black.
"Ow..." Jayfeather complained, his head hurt a lot.
"Shh...you'll be fine, rest." A familiar voice said. Leafpool's.
"Is he okay?" Two voices simutaneously questioned.
"Yes he is!" Leafpool said.
"Are you all right? Were you injured in battle?" Cinderheart fretted worriedly. Jayfeather couldn't bend his leg, and realized it was probably bound together.
"Yes...to both." Jayfeather muttered sleepily. He tried standing up, but to no avail.
"What are you doing?" Cinderheart fretted again. "You'll injure your leg even more!"
"It's just sprained, not broken!" Jayfeather snapped. "It'll be fine in a few days."
"Jayfeather," Lionblaze sighed. "For once just listen! We can't have our only medicine cat sick!"
"All right!" Jayfeather grumbled. "I'll be fine. Can I please talk to by brother privately?"
"Let's go Cinderheart." Leafpool whispered. Jayfeather caught a bit of suspicion and shock from Leafpool, and again that feeling that he didn't recognize from Cinderheart. He was vaguely aware of Leafpool muttering to Cinderheart.
"So what happend? How did you sprain your leg? How did Brambleclaw die?" The questions tumbled out of Lionblaze's mouth.
"Tigerstar happened, he threw me against a tree, and Tigerstar killed him." Jayfeather answered hollowly, his head spun again, and he tottered.
"Woah!" Lionblaze said as he went to steady him. "ARe you all right?"
"yes." He simply replied.
"Let all the cats who are old enough to catch their prey gather beneath Highledge for a clan meeting!" Firestar's yowl rang out.
"Let's go, unless you want me to stay here with you." Lionblaze added.
"I'm going outside, I need some fresh air." Jayfeather muttered, and limped towards Highledge.
"It was much, much to soon for Brambleclaw to die, and it is sad that Graystripe, my closest friend died too." Firestar's voice was coated in a layer of grief and anger. "As the custom goes, I need to appoint a new deputy. I say these words to the body of Brambleclaw, and may he and StarClan approve of my choice (I forgot how it went :P)"
The clan was quiet as a breezeless night, waiting for the choice of deputy. "Lionblaze will be the deputy of ThunderClan." Firestar finished.
Jayfeather felt his brother's shock like a bolt of thunder running through him. "I never thought...b-but.." Lionblaze stuttered.
The clan instantly went in an uproar, shouting: "Lionblaze! Lionblaze!"
"Congragulations!" Icecloud purred to Lionblaze, but he was still speechless.
"I don't see why he was made deputy." Jayfeather heard Spiderleg sneer
"I was even a warrior before him." Berrynose snorted.
"Probably he's just Firestar's kin." Thornclaw taunted.
"Shut up! You're not Firestar!" Cloudtail defended. "Even though you're older Lionblaze has more experience."
"He's right," Brackenfur agreed. "Firestar picks the best warrior for the job, he's wise."
Berrynose just snorted again. Lionblaze stood up and the clan quieted again.
"I-I never thought that I would get this position." Lionblaze said to the clan. "I'll try to be the best deputy I can." Then he embarrasingly sat down again. The clan cheered his name again.
"Congragulations, deputy." Jayfeather whispered.
"I'm gracious of that." LIonblaze thanked. His voice was humbled, but a little nervous and proud.
Jayfeather muttered an agreement.
"I think Cinderheart's in love with you," Lionblaze teased. "I saw the way she acted when you fainted, and Foxleap was glaring at you jealously just now."
"Oh really, I suppose I'll just go tell her I love her." Jayfeather joked sarcastically, but inside him was a turmoil of fear and disbelief. I will not make the same mistake as Leafpool!
Lionblaze was staring with worry at his brother when they traveled back to camp. He seemed a bit off for something, but Lionblaze didn't know. Jayfeather was hobbling with his sprained leg, and he looked seasons older than he was days ago. Lionblaze couldn't stand the depression his brother was thrown into when Squirrelflight died, but he seemed better today before the battle. Now he was going to go deeper and deeper into the pool of depression that he was thrown into, and it would take a long time for him to get out.
Lionlbaze felt a surge of fury as he thought of how ShadowClan attacked. If they had not attacked, Graystripe and Brambleclaw would still be alive, and Jayfeather would be his normal self again. He also thoguht with horror since that he had killed Snowbird, a gentle queen that was a friend of Tawnypelt's. He felt even more fury at Tigerstar, and wished he could bring the final destruction to him. Jayfeather winced beside him. Whether from his wounds or from Lionblaze's feelings, he did not know.
He felt a sort of pride as he thought that two cats had wanted him to be deputy, Icecloud and Rosepetal. He thought that it probably wasn't improtant since that Icecloud seemed to be in love with him, and Rosepetal kept trying to get his attention. He shook his head. Lionblaze looked at Jayfeather and he looked like he was absorbed by his own thoughts, since Lionblaze didn't want for his to be read again. How could he be picked for deputy? Who would trust a half-clan?
The patrol was now in camp, and Cinderheart rushed up to them, but especially to Jayfeather, Lionblaze realized. "You're back!" Cinderheart said happily, with relief and joy dancing in her eyes. But when she saw Brambleclaw's and Graystripe's body being bored by the end of the patrol, her eyes lost their shine. "I go get Briarpaw and Blossompaw." She whispered sadly, and as she went into the apprentices' den a few heartbeat's later, Lionblaze heard a heart-wrenching wail of grief.
The clan seemed to be disturbed by the smell of blood and the cry. The clan was gathering around the clearing, and even the elders were roused from their dens. They were scared speechless when they saw what the event was. "Now what's goin' on--?" Purdy trailed off like the others when he saw the bodies.
Everyone of the clan was muttering and wailing cries of grief, and Lionblaze saw Jayfeather staggering, and he was worried he might fall, but he got his balance. But the clan's reaction was only greater, and Lionblaze also felt grief that he cried a silent, loud "Why?" in his mind. Beside him, Jayfeather tottered and his eyes rolled back into his head as his knees gave in, and he collapse into the floor in a graceless heap.
**********************************************
Cinderheart was avidly watching and gaurding Jayfeather with Lionblaze, who was really worried about his brother. Since Jayfeather was the medicine cat, but since he was sick, the former medicine cat Leafpool watched over him. Cinderheart sighed. Lionblaze still looked pretty anxious since Jayfeather blacked out but was still unconcious. Cinderheart was also worried but Leafpool assured her over and over again that he was fine, the same with Lionblaze.
"Ow..." Complained a voice from inside the den. Jayfeather was awake! Cinderheart and Lionblaze swapped glances and rushed into the den to see Jayfeather.
"Shh...you'll be fine, rest." Leafpool's voice soothed
"Is he okay?" Cinderheart and Lionblaze simutaneously questioned. They looked away in embarressment.
"Yes he is!" Leafpool declared.
"Are you all right? Were you injured in battle?" Cinderheart fretted worriedly. She noticed that Jayfeather was tring to move his leg, but it was bound by rushes and cobwebs so he couldn't move it. He sighed.
"Yes...to both." Jayfeather muttered sleepily. He tried standing up, but to no avail. Cinderheart's heart pounded like a hummingbird in her chest.
"What are you doing?" Cinderheart fretted again. "You'll injure your leg even more!" She cared about him, and couldn't keep the worry and love out of her voice. Lionblaze shot her a look of disbelief and shock.
"It's just sprained, not broken!" Jayfeather snapped. "It'll be fine in a few days." Cinderhart was glad to hear the reassurement from a medicine cat.
"Jayfeather," Lionblaze sighed. Cinderheart could tell that he was fustrated. "For once just listen! We can't have our only medicine cat sick!"
"All right!" Jayfeather grumbled. "I'll be fine. Can I please talk to by brother privately?"
"Let's go Cinderheart." Leafpool whispered. Leafpool gave her a look that was equipped with claws, and Cinderheart winced. She had never seen Leafpool so angry before. "Cinderheart come here." Leafpool ordered, and they walked into the back of the apprentice den with no apprentices inside.
"What is it?" She asked nervously.
"Are you in love with my son?" Leafpool spat with fury.
Cinderheart was so frightened that she took a step back. "N-n-no!" She stuttered, afraid.
"I see the way you look at him!" Leafpool snarled. "Don't deny it! You're in love!"
"Alright maybe I am!" Cinderheart cried with distress. She knew in her heart that she was mad for Jayfeather's love.
"Don't you realize he can't make the same mistake I did?" Leafpool questioned furiously.
"I do but--" Cinderheart was cut off by a growl from Leafpool that made her jump. The former medicine cat was so angry, and giving her a look so intense and intelligent that she had to look away.
"But what? You can't control your feelings?!" Leafpool hissed.
"No!" She wailed desperately. "I love him but he will never love me back! He's the most dutiful medicine cat that I have ever seen! He won't break the code!"
"We'll see." Leafpool threatened coldly, then left. Cinderheart crashed to the floor and shook her head, again and again.
"Why? Why did I fall in love with him?" Cinderheart sobbed. "Why him out of everybody? How could StarClan be so cruel to me?"
"Let all the cats who are old enough to catch their prey gather beneath Highledge for a clan meeting!" Firestar's yowl rang out.
Cinderheart was moving towards the middle of camp and caught sight of Jayfeather and Lionblaze walking towards highledge too. Sorreltail, her mother, gave her a worried look as she saw Cinderheart. Cinderheart just turned away.
"It was much, much to soon for Brambleclaw to die, and it is sad that Graystripe, my closest friend died too." Firestar's voice was coated in a layer of grief and anger. "As the custom goes, I need to appoint a new deputy. I say these words to the body of Brambleclaw, and may he and StarClan approve of my choice (I still don't know how it goes.:P)"
The clan was quiet as a breezeless night, waiting for the choice of deputy. Cinderheart was holding her breath, but it seemed like all of ThunderClan was too. "Lionblaze will be the deputy of ThunderClan." Firestar finished.
I never thought...b-but.." Lionblaze stuttered.
"Lionblaze! Lionblaze!" Poppyfrost started to cheer, and Cinderheart added her cry too. Soon the whole clan was cheering, except Thornclaw, Berrynose and Spiderleg.
"I don't see why he was made deputy." Cinderheart heard Spiderleg sneer
"I was even a warrior before him." Berrynose snorted with contempt.
"Probably he's just Firestar's kin." Thornclaw taunted. Jayfeather seemed to notice this as Cinderheart glanced at him. His nostrils flared with anger. Cinderheart felt rage towards them too. How dare he question Firestar's choice?
"Shut up! You're not Firestar!" Cloudtail defended. "Even though you're older Lionblaze has more experience."
"He's right," Brackenfur agreed. "Firestar picks the best warrior for the job, he's wise." Cinderheart felt pride as her father stood up for Lionblaze.
Berrynose just snorted again, and Cinderheart felt her temper flare. Lionblaze stood up and the clan quieted again.
"I-I never thought that I would get this position." Lionblaze said to the clan. "I'll try to be the best deputy I can." Then he embarrasingly sat down again. The clan cheered his name again. Cinderheart knew somehow he would be a good deputy.
Foxleap was looking at Cinderheart, trying to catch her eye, but she just looked down. Foxleap looked with jealousy towards Jayfeather, who seemed to be laughing at some joke that Lionblaze was telling him, but Cinderheart knew him better. His eyes, deep, deep, down, said the message:I will not make this mistake!
Cinderheart realized what Foxleap's jealousy was. Was it so obvious that she was in love with Jayfeather? She prayed it would not be and saw Leafpool looking at her with the same cold, distrust as before.
It was a quarter moon after the ShadowClan invasion. The sunlight that was now sparkling against the melting snow promised the great treasures of new-leaf, and warmer days. A gray tom cat was sunning himself in the afternoon sun, his eyes closed. His jay-feather blue eyes was revealed as he opened his eyelids, tired from sleepless nights after another. Dark shadows, running rivers of blood, and haunting screams have disrupted his rest, and when he awoke, he had always answered them with a scream of his own.
Jayfeather's constant nightmares disruptied his clan and his health, which was getting worse my each passing night. After witnessing the deaths of Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw, Jayfeather was sure that these images would keep him awake every night. He shivered at the thought and checked his injured leg, which was out of it's bindings but still tender to touch. It was comepletely healed, and he needed to excercise it more now.
The gray tom wondered what had happened to the she-cat Cinderheart. After the deputy ceremony, she had always seemed so jumpy and nervous around Jayfeather. What did he do to make her like this? She was so friendly with him before, but Jayfeather had feared she was being a little too friendly. He had his suspicions about Leafpool, when she had talked to her, but he thought it was now probably for the best. He decided he had enought sun that afternoon, so he went back into his den to sort herbs.
*******************
He was racing, racing, in a forest without light. He tried to get out, his desperation growing with each step, but he could not find light.
"Hello little blind medicine caqt." A voice as dark as a fox's den said. He pinned Jayfeather down. "Still thinking about joining the Dark Forest?"
"No!" Jayfeather spat in his face. "Never, Tigerstar!"
"Oh, but you'll regret it later." Tigerstar sneered.
"I will never join you!" Jayfeather snarled. He was beginning to go into panic, but tried to keep his cool.
"If you won't join when I asked you," Tigerstar growled. "I'll do it by force!"
"Then you'll have to fight me!" Jayfeather screamed and wrenched away from Tigerstar's grip. He saw surprise flit across Tigerstar's face as Jayfeather clawed at his eyes. He only managed to land one blow, and Tigerstar hissed in fustration. But the dark tabby had the advantedge of strength and expierience, and once more pinned Jayfeather down that drove the breath out of him and left him weak. He also couldn't move at all.
Tigerstar deliberately lifted a paw, claws sheated, and brought it down on Jayfeather's now healed sprained leg. He thought it wouldn't be so bad, but it felt like his blood was liquid fire, starting from his leg to the rest of his body. He nearly screamed in pain but it came to a whimper.
"Looks like you're on the Dark Forest's side also." Tigerstar purred with contentment.
"No..." Jayfeather disagreed feebly.
Tigerstar laughed a horrible, diseased sound. Then put his face near Jayfeather's until their noses were almost touching. "Don't deny it little medicine cat." Then laughed again. Jayfeather felt the pain even more unbearable and finally screamed.
"Jayfeather! Jayfeather! Wake up!" A voice cried distantly, but Jayfeather felt like he was floating in water, then suddenly the sights of the dark forest disappeared. He was back into the comforting blindnes of the waking world.
"What...what happened?" He rasped. He felt early dawn rays shining onto his pelt. At least I slept till dawn. Jayfeather thought. He was always waking at predawn, and slept very late.
"You started screaming in you're sleep." Lionblaze told him.
"You sounded like you were in pain," Cinderheart added. "So we thought we would check on you."
"Yes." Leafpool agreed. Jayfeather felt the air crackle like lightning with distrust and embarressment between Leafpool and Cinderheart. What happened between those two? Jayfeather asked himself.
"Jayfeather, are you all right?" Firestar's worried voice floated from the medicine cat entrance.
Jayfeather sad up, "I'm all right." He ressured them. But he was getting feelings from Firestar that said he was unconvinced.
"Why do you keep screaming at night?" Firestar questioned.
"Nightmares." He grumbled embarrasingly, but the others weren't shocked.
"Since when did you have them?"
"After the battle."
"I guess he's just remembering bad things about the battle." Leafpool assumed.
"Yes I am," Jayfeather thought quickly. "The scent of blood and horrible screams of pain..."
"Okay, Jayfeather. As long as you're sure you're all right." Firestar said then walked out of the den. The rest of them followed his lead but Jayfeather could tell that Cinderheart was reluctant to leave him. But she turned and walked away at last.
Still remembering the horrible pain, Jayfeather checked his leg again to make sure the wound wasn't real. What he found there made him gasp. Instead of a wound, his leg was marked with scars of slasing claws, almost equally in length and long and thin. It still felt kind of hot, but Jayfeather thought it was probably nothing, and went to check the herbs he left to dry last night.
****************************************
Jayfeather kept telling him that the scar was nothing and he ignored it. His morning had been perfectly normal, just the usual. Herbs, apprentices asking for mouse bile, and a sore throat or two. Pretty common in leaf-bare. It was now almost sunhigh, and Jayfeather grabbed some borage leaves for Poppyfrost, and walked towards the nursery.
Poppyfrost's kits, Hawthornkit and Frostkit, was making happy noises as they were in some game. But then Frostkit came up to him, and asked: "Who are you?"
"I'm the ThudnerClan medicine cat, Jayfeather." Jayfeather replied.
"Attack!!!!" Hawthornkit screeched amusingly, and they bombarded him and made him drop his herbs.
"Ooof!" Jayfeather complained as both kits tackled him hard on the same side, then started batting at his ears whith sheated paws. He located the kits, and gently batted them off, but the kept knocking him over, until Poppyfrost came.
"Hawthronkit! Frostkit! Stop it right now!" Poppyfrost scolded.. "Is that how you treat a medicine cat."
Jayfeather felt the two weights beeing lifted off him, and he stood up. "We're sorry," the two kits sincerely apologized simutaneously.
"That's alright." He purred. "Here Poppyfrost, I got you some borage."
"Thanks." Poppyfrost said. Then Jayfeather turned and left the nursery, and was about to go collecting herbs until Cinderheart stopped him on his path. "What is it?" He asked.
"Sorreltail has a cough and I just wanted you to know." Cinderheart replied.
"Okay I'm checking on her." Jayfeather sighed.
*****************************
After Jayfeather had given Sorreltail tansy for her cough, he went into the forest to collect some juniper berries that were still on the bushes. He was so sure that scar meant something, but it hasn't been bothering him for the entire day, so he decided it was nothing. Once he had enough, he carried them in his mouth and started to walk back to camp.
When Jayfeather was approaching the entrance, he heard Dustpelt growl: "Who's there?"
"It'ch meh. Jayfeaher." Jayfeather mumbled around the juniper berries. "I was-sh collecthing hwerbs."
"Come in." Duspelt invited.
Jayfeather was halfway to the medicine cat den, when he felt his once-sprained leg burn with fire again. His knees gave out under him and he let out a small yelp of pain. Lionblaze rushed to his side, and asked, "Are you okay?" But Jayfeather was in too much pain to answer. He gave another yelp of pain and he fell on his side, writhing on the ground.
"Jayfeather!" Cinderheart screamed with worry, and Firestar was brought out by his cries.
"Jayfeather? Jayfeather!" Firestar yelled at him, but Jayfeather was still screaming in pain.
Then Jayfeather felt something, there was another prescence, in his mind. Jayfeather moved his mout to form words that wasn't his, that said, "You thought I was gone for good, but I wasn't." It was Tigerstar's voice, and now Jayfeather knew what he meant by 'taking him into the dark forest by force'.
Firestar gasped, and so did most of the senior warriors. "Too bad kittypet." Tigerstar said through Jayfeather's mouth again and the pain he felt was too strong, so he blacked out...
Lionblaze had just padded into camp when he heard Jayfeather yelp in pain about something, and cut short his conversation with Foxleap, and whipped around to see his legs give in and fall to the ground in pain. Lionblaze's heart raced, and rushed to his brother, asking: "Are you all right?"
All Lionblaze got for a response was a screech of pain, and Jayfeather fell writhing to the ground, eyes rolling to the back of his head. Cinderheart ran towards them, and looked with worry and horror in her gaze. "Jayfeather!" She screeched.
Lionblaze felt the ground rumble the slightest bit as Firestar came beside him, he looked frightened by the state that Jayfeather was in. "Jayfeather? Jayfeather!" Firestar yelled at him, but got no response. Jayfeather's eyes were glazed with pain, and a quick flash of horror. Lionblaze then saw a stranged thing, the claw mark scars on his leg started to glow red.
Then Jayfeather had a look on that Lionblaze never thought he would see, a slighty maniac and insane smile, filled with dark and evil thoughts. The look disturbed him, and he shivered. If he had never been afraid of the medicine cat before, this was the first time.
"You thought I was gone for good, but I wasn't." Jayfeather sneered it, but the voice and look wasn't his, he would never say this. Then Lionblaze felt the senior warriors go in shock, and saw Firestar stiffen. He realized who it was. The voice was the one who tutored him in the Dark Forest. Tigerstar's.
"Wha..?" Firestar stuttered.
Tigerstar laughed through Jayfeather's mouth, and Lionblaze stiffened again, his fur bristling in fear. But what was he doing? He knew this was his brother. "Too bad kittypet." Tigerstar's voice mocked again and Jayfeather fainted, his breathing quick and shallow.
Firestar looked towards Dustpelt, who was beside him. "Move him into the prisoner's den." Firestar ordered.
"Wait Firestar!" LIonblaze cried. "Jayfeather isn't evil! He would never do such a thing!"
"Yes firestar!" Cinderheart pleaded to him. "Jayfeather's kind, and what would you do without a medicine cat?"
"Leafpool will be medicine cat for now, and I can't trust this cat anymore." Firestar replied coldly. "From now on, he will be gaurded unless he proves that Tigerstar is not using him."
"But Firestar! He's my--" Lionblaze was cut off from a cold look from Firestar.
Lionblaze was so angry he stalked to the other end of the camp, and shook his head. He glanced at Jayfeather's sleeping form, his face still distorted in pain, even in sleep. His breathing rapid and short, Jayfeather rolled again and again. "No...no.." He seemed to be saying , and screamed, "NO!" so loud that it made Lionblaze nearly jump out of his fur.
Lionblaze wanted to go and talk to Jayfeather, but how could he now that he was being watched? Lionblaze had an idea, and padded up to Firesetar's den. "Firestar?" He said.
"Yes, come in." Firestar answered. He was sitting on his nest, eyes absentmindedly looking at something as if he was thinking about something.
"I think the next time Jayfeather wakes up," Lionblaze suggested cautiously. "We should be there."
"Yes, I think so." Firestar replied distantly. "May you please go?"
"Sure." Lionblaze said, and walked towards the den door.
**********************
It was after dawnrise when Foxleap prodded Lionblaze with one ginger paw, and anxiously whispered: "Lionblaze! Lionblaze! Wake up!"
Lionblaze reluctantly opened his eyes, and groaned, "Why?"
"Jayfeather's waking up!" Foxleap whined anxiously. This answer jerked him wide awake.
"Thanks," Lionblaze grunted as he walked out of the warriors den. He saw Firestar already standing over Jayfeather's sleeping form with Berrynose and Dustpelt. Jayfeather was still a bit sleepy, his eyes barely widening into slits as he let out a moan, then Lionblaze rushed to him.
Jayfeather opened his eyes all the way, even though he couldn't see. He seemed to then only scent Firestar and he backed into the wall. His pelt was bristling as if Firestar was something dangerous. But all Lionblaze saw on Firestar's face was a coldness even colder then an icy wind in leaf-bare.
"Where am I?" Jayfeather whispered. His eyes were round with worry.
"Exactly where you should be," Dustpelt spat. "The prisoner's den."
"What?" Jayfeather asked horrified. "What did I do? I didn't do anything!"
"Are you sure about that Tigerstar?" Firestar asked.
Firestar looked as if he was distracted, but he was thinking about it. "You will stay here until you can prove that you are you." Firestar decided and left. Jayfeather winced.
"I want to talk to Jayfeather privately." Lionblaze stated to Dustpelt. "Can you and Berrynose go?"
Jayfeather's dreams were confusing and chaotic. He only heard cries of pain and torture, not knowing what mouth cried them. he felt like he was being chased. He kept running and running until he was too tired to run, and his leg with a scar on it was burning with pain. He gave a small moan of pain involuntairily. He again felt danger but couldn't run away anymore, he couldn't move at all.
"Welcome to the Dark Forest." Tigerstar's voice sneered. "Having fun?" Jayfeather didn't reply.
"You are one of us now." Another voice snarled that Jayfeather didn't recognize, and the cat stayed in the shadow.
"No...no...this can't be happening!" Jayfeather whispered, barely audible.
"Oh yes it is." Tigerstar hissed triumphantly. "You are mine to control."
"No!" Jayfeather shouted loudly. He felt darkness envolope him...
****************
Jayfeather let out a moan. "Quick! Get Firestar and Lionblaze! He's waking up!" Jayfeather heard a voice, and a padding of paws.
Jayfeather wondered sleepily what was going on. He didn't remember anything to lose their trust. Had he? He heard two cats come, he recognized Lionblaze and Firestar by scent. Normally he would be relieved it was them, but now he felt caution from Lionblaze, and as Firestar approached, he felt overwhelming distrust and anger. When Firestar was standing next to him, the waves of his emotions made Jayfeather so afraid, he had to back up to the den of the wall. He recognized a stale scent. Sol! Jayfeather realized.
"Where am I?" He asked caustiously.
"Exactly where you should be," Dustpelt spat. "The prisoner's den."
"What?" Jayfeather asked horrified. "But what did I do? I didn't do anything!"
"Are you sure of that, Tigerstar?" Firestar asked. Jayfeather didn't understand. Why would they mistaken him for Tigerstar? Is that what meant that he was his to control.?
Yes! I'm sure!" Jayfeather pleaded desperately. "I'm me! I'm sure!" What would happen to him? Firestar hestitated
"You will stay here until you can prove that you are you" Firestar decided coldly. Jayfeather winced at his tone, and how could he prove he was himself?
"I want to talk to Jayfeather privately." Lionblaze stated to Dustpelt. "Can you and Berrynose go?" Then the two cats left.
"Jayfeather? Is it you?" Lionblaze asked cautiously.
"Who else what I be?" Jayfeather snorted.
"Don't you remember what happened?" Lionblaze was surpised. "At all?"
"No! I don't remember!" Jayfeather snarled. "I fainted and when I woke up, I found myself in the prisoner's den!"
"Well..."Lionblaze trailed off. Whatever it was, Jayfeather knew it was bad.
"Well..." Lionblaze repeated again. "I don't know how to tell you this..." Jayfeather rolled his eyes deliberantly.
"I'll be in StarClan before you tell me!" Jayfeather teased.
"All right." Lionblaze sighed ruefully. "The reason that Firestar's treating you like this is because...Tigerstar."
"Huh?" Jayfeather wondered in surprise. "What does he have to do with me?"
"He umm..." Lionblaze scuffled his feet in agitation, and Jayfeather kinked his tail in fustration that Lionblaze wasn't telling him. "He sort of...used your mouth...to talk..." Lionblaze finally finished. Jayfeather felt his blood turn to ice as he absorbed the news. He now knew what Tigerstar meant by "his to command."
"What do you mean you told him?" Cinderheart asked astonished. "He doesn't remember what happened?"
"No, not a thing." Jayfeather admitted.
"Oh." Cinderheart totaled it off.
"Lionblaze!" Firestar called from his den.
"Coming!" Lionblaze called back. Then Jayfeather felt his gaze bore into his pelt. "I have to go." Then he raced off towards the Highledge, not looking back.
"Are you all right?" Cinderheart questioned, truely concerned.
"Other then feeling mistreated with no reason, and getting stuck in the prisoner's den," Jayfeather replied drily. "Yes I'm all right."
"I can't believe how Firestar treated you!" Cinderheart's voice was almost a growl. "I mean, you didn't do anything!"
"Try telling thaty to Firestar." Jayfeather sarcastically snorted. Jayfeather felt her pity for him, and felt his temper boil.
"I don't need your pity!" Jayfeather spat. Cinderheart reeled back as if she had been stung. Realizing this, Jayfeather muttered a :"I'm sorry." at her.
"No," Cinderheart disagreed. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have provoked you like that."
"Cinderheart?" Jayfeather heard Foxleap say to her as he came up to them. "Is it bothering you."
Jayfeather felt his anger grow so much that he growled, "I'm still Jayfeather in case you've forgotten."
"Foxleap! How could you?" Cinderheart scolded disbelievingly and whipped around and stalked to somewhere else.
"Cinderheart! Wait!" Foxleap called after her, but she didn't turn around and talk to him. He faced Jayfeather and he could feel the breath from his nose, and the anger from his body in waves. "Now look what you've done!"
Jayfeather growled, he couldn't help it. "How is this my fault? If I remember correctly, you were the one cussing at me!"
Foxleap growled back at Jayfeather, and Dustpelt came to Foxleap's side. "What happend?" Dustpelt questioned harshly.
"Jayfeather drove Cinderheart away." Foxleap hissed with anger.
"He adressed me as an 'it'" Jayfeather growled with fustration. "And Cinderheart got angry at him then went away."
"From what I saw," Brackenfur stated as he came padded closer. "That's exactly what happened."
Dustpelt gave a grunt of agreement. "Just you wait Jayfeather!" Foxleap screeched furiously at him as he ran off.
*******************************
Jayfeather sat there, being watched by the two gaurds for the evening, Berrynose and Thornclaw. They were staring at him like he was some sort of freak, something that shouldn't exist. At least Jayfeather thought from the waves of disgust that he was getting from the two of them. Foxleap told the whole clan what happened, and really exaggerated it. The others now were looking at them with suspicion and doubt planted in their minds by him. Jayfeather hissed in fustration. He felt the two gaurds whip their heads around and hiss at him.
"What do you think you're doing?" Thornclaw snarled.
"Hissing! Don't you do that when you're fustrated." He snarled mildly back. Thornclaw just turned around and his fur bristled in embaressment, and Jayfeather felt a bit of satisfaction.
Jayfeather didn't eat the whole day, he just felt too sick and depressed to eat. Or do anything. It's not like anyone cared, and they wouldn't let Lionblaze see him. Neither would they let Cinderheart. Only Firestar, and Jayfeather hasn't heard him since he went on patrol in late afternoon. He wanted out. He wanted to do his duties as a medicine cat, not sit there like a prisoner. Being watched like he couldn't be trusted was costing his mind, and he didn't want to fall asleep.
He smelled Leafpool's scent and heard her footsteps as she padded up to the two gaurds. "I need to check on Jayfeather." She stated.
"No." Thornclaw growled. "Only Firestar."
"Yes." Berrynose agreed.
"Has anyone even brought him fresh-kill today?" Leafpool questioned. Jayfeather felt nervous scuffling from the two toms.
"Um...I don't know." Berrynose replied.
"But he shouldn't have any." Thornclaw hissed in coldness.
"Then you're treating him worse than a prisoner!" A voice sunddenly joined them. Cinderheart, Jayfeather realized with a groan in his mind.
"Cinderheart wait!" Foxleap panted. "I've been trying to catch up to you all day!"
"Do you think spreading false rumours," Cinderheart whipped the words at Foxleap, and Jayfeather felt him cringe. "About Jayfeather's going to earn you any respect from me?"
"Uh..." Was all Foxleap could reply.
"No it isn't!" Cinderheart continued. "I never thought you could be so heartless, so evil to do this!" Then she turned around again and went off into the forest. All Foxleap did was send a malicious hiss at Jayfeather then stalked to the direction of the warriors den.
Jayfeather cast his head to the ground, even though he could not see. "I think I'll go now." Leafpool whispered, and Jayfeather closed his eyes, even nightmares were better than this jumbled world when he was awake. Willing himself to sleep, he creeped into an uncomfortable sleep
It was late, the whole forest was asleep, save one gray tom cat, his gray pelt painted silver by moonlight. the moon was set perfectly in the middle of the sky, almost half-full. The two cats that sat in from of the gray cat's den were also asleep, and he crept past them into the heart of night in the forest behind them.
"So...that's why...um..." Cinderheart heard Lionblaze stutter, and Jayfeather only nodded
Cinderheart wasn't sure to do anything, or if he would even talk to her, but she still gave a shout of: "Jayfeather!" to him
"Hi." He rasped flatly back. To her he sounded like he was sick, or had a sore throat.
"What happened, Jayfeather?" Cinderheart couldn't help asking. She wanted to make sure he was okay, she needed to know it. She tries and tries to keep her feelings to herself, but somehow it shows everytime she talks.
"I just um...told..." Lionblaze stuttered again, and she wondered what was wrong with him, but then realized that it was probably the little "incident" Jayfeather had. She couldn't belive it. Jayfeather didn't remember?
"What do you mean you told him?" Cinderheart asked, not able to keep the astonishment out of her voice. How could he not? She still remembered that evil voice that was like a fading echo, a half-forgotten dream, but still she recognized it. But what was it? "He doesn't remember what happened?"
"No, not a thing." Jayfeather admitted.
"Oh."
"Lionblaze!" Cinderheart heard a cry from highledge.
"Coming!" Lionblaze called back. she saw Lionblaze gaze concernly at his brother. "I have to go." Then he raced off towards the Highledge, not looking back.
"Are you all right?" Cinderheart questioned, truely concerned. Jayfeather looked so unhappy, the usual spark in his eyes was faded and blown out by a wind.
"Other then feeling mistreated with no reason, and getting stuck in the prisoner's den," Jayfeather replied drily. "Yes I'm all right." Cinderheart winced at his tone. Not because he was angry at her, but because it sounded the life was drained out of him.
She felt a rush of anger at the one who caused all this. Firestar. She used to admire his wisdom, but for someone wise, he was being unsightful. "I can't believe how Firestar treated you!" Cinderheart's voice was almost a growl, she couldn't belive herself. "I mean, you didn't do anything!"
"Try telling thaty to Firestar." Jayfeather sarcastically snorted, but the life and fight were still drained. Cinderheart felt a rush of pity for him, but too late, she realized, for she saw the flame of anger in his eyes. She fogot how easily he could read her emotions. Was it only hers or others too? Cinderheart wondered.
"I don't need your pity!" Jayfeather spat, full of poison. Cinderheart was hurt by his tone, because she only pitied him because she cared. She reeled back as if she had been stung, for his words could hurt more than battle wounds. Only because she loved him. Tut then, Jayfeather muttered a :"I'm sorry." at her.
Cinderheart realized it wasn't his fault, it was hers. She noticed that Jayfeather would get like this if you pitied him, yet she did. "No. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have provoked you like that."
"Cinderheart?" Cinderheart heard Foxleap say her name as he came up to them. "Is it bothering you."
She saw Jayfeather's anger in his eyes grow to full forest fires, and hers larger. How could Foxleap earn her love and respect if he's going to insult someone who did no wrong? Anger burned in her chest and she scarcely heard Jayfeather growl: "I'm still Jayfeather in case you've forgotten."
"Foxleap! How could you?" Cinderheart scolded disbelievingly as she faced him. How could he insult him? What did Jayfeather do wrong. She whipped around into the direction of where Sandstorm's patrol was, and wanted to get out of the camp.
"Fox dung!" Cinderheart spat. She had just lost her vole because she accidentally brushed against a leaf, and sent it scurrying. She had a disappointing day hunting, and only caught a few mice despite hunting the whole afternoon. She was too distracted, and the reason of her distraction was Jayfeather
"Cinderheart, have I really taught you how to hunt?" Cloudtail asked disapprovingly. Cloudtail was Cinderheart's former mentor, but had seen her rather clumsy act.
"I haven't...had a good sleep yesterday night," Cinderheart lied quickly. "That's all." Cloudtail nodded at her. Icecloud, Cinderheart's best friend, came up to her, eyes round with worry.
"Hello Icecloud." Cinderheart greeted, and Icecloud still looked really worried. Cinderheart wondered what was wrong with her, and asked: "What's wrong?"
"Oh..." Icecloud looked embarressed to say it. "Never mind, nothing to worry about.
"Come on Icecloud, I'm your friend." Cinderheart encouraged. "I won't laugh at you."
"Well...Foxleap said.." Icecloud paused and dropped her voice down to a whisper. "He said that Jayfeather said he would kill us all."
Cinderheart jerked to a stop, and felt anger ready to burst her. That's not what happened! "What?" She whispered furiously. "How dare he!"
"What's wrong?" Now it was Icecloud's turn to ask.
"that's not what happend with Jayfeather!" Cinderheart hissed. "He didn't do anything!"
"Then...why's he in the prisoner's den then?" Icecloud inquired, confused.
"Never mind. I need to get back to camp."
Cinderheart raced back to camp as soon as she could, feeling like her lungs were on fire. She tripped several times on roots. I'm never that clumsy! She thought, but just concentrated on getting back to camp. She arrived in camp to see Thornclaw, Berrynose and Leafpool arguing, while seeing Jayfeather's eyes were blank and unoticing.
"Has anyone even brought him fresh-kill today?" cinderheart heard Leafpool questioned, and Berrynose and Thornclaw scuffled their feet in embarressment.
"Um...I don't know." Berrynose finally replied.
But Thornclaw regained his calm "But he shouldn't have any." He hissed in coldness
"Then you're treating him worse than a prisoner!" Cinderheart couldn't help hissing at them. Jayfeather looked kind of annoyed at her, as of he was angry for her to defend him. She started to turn but Foxleap came before she could.
"Cinderheart wait!" Foxleap panted as he came up to her. "I've been trying to catch up to you all day! She was angry that Foxleap had shown up. Was spreading false rumours the way he thinks that will impress her?
Her fury reached her peak. "Do you think spreading false rumours," She spat at his face. "About Jayfeather's going to earn you any respect from me?"
"uh..." Was Foxleap's answer, she was too angry to hear any explanations from him.
No it isn't!" Cinderheart continued. "I never thought you could be so heartless, so evil to do this!" She couldn’t bear to be around anyone anymore for now, so she ran into the direction of the forest, but didn’t stop. She kept running until she reached Sky Oak by the lake, and found a hollow in the roots of the tree. She lied down there, and let grief and fury wash over her like a deep black wave.
Cinderheart blinked open her eyes, she didn't notice that she fell asleep. She looked up to an almost half-moon floating in a cloudless sky, with stars to accompany her. It was the middle of the night! She was missing for so long! The sky and stars created beautiful shadows and lights on the forest and moors below. The lake was breathtakingly beautiful. The way the stars and moon danced in the waves was beautiful. Then Cinderheart noticed a shape. It was so still that it looked like a rock, but she looked harder to see it was a cat. It was bathed in the silver of the light from above, standing proud and resolute against the wind. But there was something familiar about him...those unwavering eyes...she looked even closer to see it was...Jayfeather! She gasped, a little too loudly, and Jayfeather turned in her direction. He didn't look angry. Only miserable and defeated.
"What...why...are you doing here?" Cinderheart finally asked, after what seemed like seasons.
"I had to get out." Jayfeather rasped, but stayed standing where he was. He shivered as the cold wind blew through his pelt.
"Are you alright?" Cinderheart gently asked. Jayfeather shrugged, but there was something miserable and ancient in that action.
"I don't know what I am anymore." Jayfeather sighed. "Am I still a medicine cat? Or am I just low as dirt?"
"No." Cinderheart disagreed firmly. "You will always be ThunderClan medicine cat. And more." The one I'll always love no matter what, Cinderheart thought, and her heart wrenched in pain that they could never be together. A loon cried hauntingly in the distance with its mournful cry, as if it was singing the ballad of Cinderheart's pain.
Jayfeather tilted his head, and nodded to acknowledge Cinderheart's words. "Thank you." He whispered, his eyes sparkled, and Cinderheart wondered again if he truly was blind or not.
"I...I was wondering if you're doing well...with your...current conditions." Cinderheart stuttered.
Jayfeather shook his head, and Cinderheart realized how thin he was. She was starting to get suspicious of that he stopped eating. "When was the last time you ate?" She questioned.
He had a funny little confused look on his face, as if he was considering it for the first time. He just sat there for a while. "I dunno." He finally answered. Cinderheart sighed in exasperation that he couldn't remember, but he suddenly asked: "What's with Foxleap and you?"
"Huh?" It was Cinderheart's turn to be confused.
"Don't pretend you don't know." Jayfeather stated flatly.
"I really, really don't know." Cinderheart answered truthfully, and Jayfeather rolled his eyes and gave a tiny snort. She thought it was funny to see him do that, considering his disabilty.
"The way he tries to impress you," Jayfeather mewed. "I think he's in love with you." Cinderheart felt horrified.
"What? Him?" She dramatized. "No!" Jayfeather's answer was simply a snort, but then his eyes darkened a shade, as if a cloud passed by the sun.
"Why won't you leave me alone?" He questioned harshly.
"What do you mean?" Cinderheart shot back, even though in her heart she already knew.
"After Squirrelflight's death you kept visiting me." He hissed. "To check if I was okay, and flirt with me! I'm a medicine cat! You should know better Cinderheart!"
"No! It's not like that!" Cinderheart pleaded. "I checked to because I was your friend!"
"Only Lionblaze cares that much!" He retorted, eyes like twin flames of anger.
"Please, please believe me!" Cinderheart pleaded again, desperation showing in her voice.
"No. That. Is. A. Lie!" Jayfeather snarled at her. "Tell me the truth!"
"I love you, Jayfeather!" She shouted with all her heart. "That's why I couldn't leave you alone!"
"While I don't love you!" He countered. "Leave me alone!"
"No..." Cinderheart whispered as she felt her heart and soul shatter. All this time she built them around Jayfeather, and he broke and destroyed them. Not break. Shatter. Shattered like ice under the sun, shattered beyond the hope of finding the pieces to build back again. But she knew this would happen. How foolish and stupid could she be?
"Yes!" he growled. Jayfeather turned his back to her, and Cinderheart felt her heart beat faster. His words of scorn hurt more than battle wounds, for if you had a fatal wound, you would die. But he ripped her heart out, and she was still alive, struggling to claim it back. It hurt more than anything, and the words were claws that cut deep inside of her.
"Maybe...we can work this--" She was cut off by Jayfeather's flow of angry words.
"It won't work out!" Jayfeather roared at her. "I can't make the same mistake as Leafpool! This is good for you too!"
"No but--" again she was cut off.
"What would our clanmates think of us, Cinderheart?" He whispered. "The only thing we can get out of this affair is tragedy and mistakes like me!"
"You're not a mistake!" Cinderheart argued.
"Yes I am!" Jayfeather disagreed. "I shouldn't have been born! And look what's happening now to me!"
Cinderheart was speechless. Another wind blew clouds racing over the sky, like horses racing over the more. "Please..." She whispered again.
"No." He replied firmly, then his voice grew to a his. "I'll never love you."
These words confirmed Cinderheart's worst fears. She crumpled to the ground. "No..." She sobbed, and Jayfeather deliberantly turned his back to her, and started to walk away. She wailed quietlly, and the sky answered with fat raindrops on her pelt, and soon became a violent whip. She could no longer see Jayfeather. She felt hollow as a tree. No, she was a stream without it's water, the day without the sun, the night without the moon, a body without a soul. She was empty, and the water for her stream, the sun for her day, the moon for her night, the soul for her body walked away from her. Lightning ripped the sky in two and soon came thunder. Lightning came again and Cinderheart wailed her mourning wail, and thunder answered her. The rain was too violent for her, and she crept back to her hollow in the roots of Sky Oak.He wasn't right for me! I was too stupid! How stupid could I be to not notice? Cinderheart thought. And she wailed again for the love and feelings she dreamed of but would never be.
"No." A gray tom firmly replied. His voice growing more harse and like a hiss with every word. Persuading was getting hard. "I'll never love you."
Jayfeather felt the pain enamate from Cinderheart like waves of the lake in a stormy, windy day. He was nearly knocked off his feet. He had to force himself to keep cold and calm. He hated to see his clanmate, a friend, being so tortured by his words. He forced himself again not to flinch. Couldn't Cinderheart see that he would never be with her? He was trying to tell her that, but she didn't listen. This was for the good of both of them, so the forbidden stuff didn't tangle up their loyalty. Couldn't she see that? He took a deep breath. It was best to break her heart now than later, when feelings flower.
"No..." Cinderheart sobbed, heartbreak in every syllable she pronounces.
Jayfeather pointedly turned his back to her with a shiver that he couldn't surpress. He hated this! He hated to make Cinderheart hurt like this, she was one of the cats who actually cared about him. He felt his scar tingle. No! He thought, as when it hurt...Tigerstar came. The rain started falling gently, and Cinderheart was turned away. He ran, not caring where it was. He was afraid that he would hurt her, he would be out of control. He ran and ran...
The rain whipped his face and made the path slippery under his paws. He needed to stop. But where? He was still in ThunderClan territory, thankfully. Thunder split the sky with it's roar, and he was afraid of getting struck by lightning, and looked for a shelter. He didn't go to the ancient pines and oaks that grew tall, and he still couldn't find a shelter. He was now drenched, and still afraid of water even though he taught Cinderheart to swim. At that name he cringed. He hoped she was okay, and hoped that she would never have to have her heart torn for loyalty for him and the clan.
Just when he was going to give up hope of finding a shelter, a little tree welcomed him. It was a laurel, he recognized it by scent. There was a hollow in the roots and he curled under it. The little tree sheltered him, and there were taller trees that sheltered the little tree, so he was dry.
When the rain calmed down, and grew to no more than a drizzle, Jayfeather walked out of the shelter. It was still the middle of the night, since he felt no heat of the sun. He started to walk back to camp. But what was he thinking? But where else would he go. Just as he made it halfway, pain shot up his leg, and he crumpled and slipped. The last thing he felt before black out was a screeching pain in his head from something sharp
"Cinderheart, Cinderheart!" A voice purred. "Rise and shine!"
"'Lemme 'lone!" She groaned. "I wanna sleep!"
The voice laughed. "You did that as a kit too!"
Cinderheart opened her sticky eyes and saw Brackenfur crouching over her, eyes filled with amusement. But her heart felt as heavy as a stone. Jayfeather. Thunder. Rain. She shivered and let out a sneeze.
"Let's get back to camp." Brackenfur suggested. Cinderheart nodded. They were traveling through the forest in morning, birds chirping and the sun streaming through the leaves.
"How did you know where I was?" Cinderheart yawned.
"We searched every bit of the forest." Brackenfur replied. Cinderheart winced in embarressment. "They're still out looking for Jayfeather."
He didn't return? Cinderheart thought, a little worried, but shrugged it away. "What were you doing here anyways?" Brackenfur questioned and looked at her.
"I got mad at Foxleap," Cinderheart began, "and I ran from camp."
"Why did you get mad at him?" Brackenfur questioned again.
"Because he was mistreating a clanmate." Cinderheart answered truthfully.
"And...who was it?" Brackenfur inquired.
Cinderheart winced but still replied: "Jayfeather." Brackenfur just nodded.
"You have every right to get mad at him." Brackenfur told her, and then humor crept into his voice. "Just make sure you don't run away next time."
Cinderheart laughed back, but it was an uneasy sound. They were halfway to camp. She was thinking about how Jayfeather would do when he got back to camp. She was worried. Stop thinking about him! She scolded herself mentally.
"What are thinking about?" Brackenfur asked again.
"Oh...nothing" She said, startled.
"You can tell me." Brackenfur pressed. "I'm your father."
"How...Jayfeather would deal when he gets back into camp." Cinderheart finally blurted out.
Brackenfur looked like he was considering it. "Yes me too. But why do you care so much?"
"He's my friend." She answered firmly. "I care about my friends."
Brackenfur nodded. They were close to camp now, and was silent for most of the journey afterwards. But Cinderheart asked, "Who's Cinderpelt?" Since she was curious.
"she was ThunderClan medicine cat before Leafpool." He answered. "Also my sister."
"Oh." Cinderheart replied.
"She died protecting your littermates, you and Sorretail from the badger attack." Brackenfur added. "You were named after her."
"Oh." She repeated again and Brackenfur laughed.
They had reached camp entrance when Cinderheart sneezed again. "You'd better go to see Leafpool to check if you have a cold." Cinderheart nodded, but then something occured to her. Go see Leafpool, not Jayfeather. She shivered, but not from the cold.
"Hi Leafpool." Cinderheart greeted. "i think--ACHOO!--that I might have a bit of a cold."
"Hmm..." Leafpool muttered and checked her. "Only sniffles, that's all. Wait till I get some herbs for you." Then Leafpool disappeared into the back of the den.
As Cinderheart waited for a while, she saw a patrol of cats, and the unmistakable scent of blood. The patrol carried a gray body she knew too well as Jayfeather.
Lionblaze sniffed the air for Jayfeather's scent, but only found the scents of dew and rain. He hissed in fustration. Berrynose was looking really guilty for falling asleep in the middle of his shift, and so was Thornclaw. Firestar gave them quite a scolding. Just when he was about to give up, Cloudtail called to say that he found his scent trail. Then Lionblaze ran over to Cloudtail and found the scent to. His spirits lifted a bit.
"Let's go!" He yowled to the rest of the patrol, and they followed the scent trail. It first led them to a small laurel tree, that was only about four cat-lenghts long. But the scent still had the scent of Jayfeather, since it probably didn't rain since Jayfeather got out of the shelter.
"Looks like we've found him." Cloudtail mewed as he came up to Lionblaze, and he nodded. But when he opened his mouth to take in a scent, he found the scent of blood.
"I think he might be hurt!" He shouted at the rest of the patrol and ran according to the scent trail. He saw him, Jayfeather, his head lying in a pool of blood. His front leg swollen, back leg lying in a crooked position, and a long, thin gash on the side of his flank. There was a patch of smooth stone above that he probably tripped on, and by the way his body was positioned, he was trying to make it back to camp. There was sharp where Jayfeather laid next to.
"Looks like someone's going to be sore when he wakes up." Berrynose joked as he looked at Jayfeather.
"This is no time for a joke!" Lionblaze snapped at him and ran next to his brother. "Jayfeather? Jayfeather?" Lionblaze tried to rouse him by lifting his head with his nose. But his head just lulled back in the same position. He was very worried and his heard started beating faster. Jayfeather had a scaringly huge gash on his head, and Lionblaze checked for any type of life. Sure enough, he found his breath and heartbeat. Unfortunately, his heartbeat was faint, and his breaths were short.
"We've got to get him back to camp!" Lionblaze decided. "Cloudtail, Thornclaw, help me carry him back." The two obeyed. "Berrynose, keep watch for anything." He nodded.
The journey back to camp was long and difficult carrying Jayfeather, and along the road he hasn't stirred. And death seemed to be a minute away, trying to claim him. Lionblaze was scared that he might already be dead, and finally made it back to camp. Lionblaze saw Cinderheart in the medicine cat den watching them with huge eyes. At least she's back, Lionblaze thought.
"What happend?" Firestar asked from Highledge, truly concerned.
"He probably slipped and landed on sharp stones." Lionblaze mumbled around Jayfeather's fur. Firestar nodded.
"Take him to Leafpool." Firestar ordered, and Lionblaze oblidged, and carried him to Leafpool's den and set him down. Cinderheart watched
"What happend?" Cinderheart asked with round eyes of worry, like Firestar.
"He probably slipped and landed on sharp stones." Lionblaze repeated.
"Oh no." Leafpool whispered, panic flooding in her eyes. This was not a good sign, normally Leafpool wouldn't get so nervous. But just then she regained her serenity. She poked around him, and Jayfeather was still unconcious. "That gash on his head is the worst, the gash on his flank isn't bad, just long but not deep, one dislocated back leg, and a badly sprained front leg. A bit of a fever." Leafpool reported.
"Tell me...when he wakes up, okay?" Lionblaze mewed.
"Sure." Leafpool answered, but Lionblaze heard something like "If he ever wakes up." When he was leaving the medicine cat den.
Lionblaze was out of his mind with worry, and for the first time, worried about Jayfeather's health. He never went into battles as a medicine cat, but now...Lionblaze could only hope that StarClan would spare his life
Lionblaze waited, waited, waited and waited for a quarter moon. A quarter moon and still Jayfeather hasn't stirred, and the light cold he had had turned into a fever that refused to break. Leafpool had even invited Brightheart, who knew a little about herbs, to help her. The two worked tirelessly, but he still haven't stirred. Even Firestar was visiting him every day. He was still the medicine cat. Last night's gathering was so weird...Lionblaze thought, and remembered what happend...
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As usual, Lionblaze crossed the tree bridge to the gathering of the clans. He greeted his friends that were on the journey, even Toadfoot was pretty friendly. He gulped as he remembered this was his first gathering as ThunderClan deputy. Then he saw the medicine cats approach him.
"Hello Lionblaze." littlecloud, ShadowClan medicine cat, greeted.
"Oh good!" Kestrelflight cheered, "Because we were wondering where he was at half-moon and where he is now."
"Er...he's a bit unwell." Lionblaze stuttered. "But he's healing." He added, when he knew it was a lie.
"Oh..."Then Kestreflight looked a little shamefaced. "It's not because of Bree--"
"No. Trust me, it's not about that." Lionblaze cut Kestrelflight off.
"Will you tell us if he's okay?" Willowshine asked worriedly with wide eyes.
"Sure." Lionblaze grunted, and the gathering started.
"I will go first." Blackstar announced "I am sad to announce the death of Snowbird." Murmurs of greif went around the island for the gentle white queen, and Lionblaze winced as he knew he was responsible for her death.
"But there is good news too," Blackstar started again, more joyfully. "Ivytail gave birth to Fawnkit, Asterkit, and Mountainkit!" Again murmurs went around the hollow, but instead it was happiness.
"I'm next." Leopardstar stated. "everything's well in RiverClan, the hunting is great."
"So is it in WindClan." Onestar added.
"Then it's my turn." Firestar's voice grew as he announced something. "It gives me much greif to report the death of both Graystripe and Brambleclaw." Wails of greif were greater than before, and Lionblaze saw Mistyfoot with her head bowed over, Crowfeather looken stricken, and Tawnypelt wailing quietly. All the clans seemed to be affected by these two well known warriors.
Firestar let them continue, but then again announced, "But that does not mean ThunderClan is weakened in any way, and now Lionblaze is the deputy of ThunderClan."
Lionblaze felt really shy instead of proud as all the clans turned their disapproving eyes on him, but ThunderClan started to chant his name and soon enough all the clans were cheering. but it was broken by a single question that Breezepelt shouted: "Was Jayfeather too scared to come?"
Firestar looked furious but regained his cool as he said: "he currently has a condition that would not alllow him to come, and he did not come for his safety, Breezepelt. That decision was made by me, and me alone."
Onestar looked ashamed as his young warrior , and after that, the gathering came to an end.
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Lionblaze sighed and checked to make sure Jayfeather was alright, and wanted to see him awake and healthy
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